When Someone Doesn’t Accept an Amends

In active addiction, the likelihood of us harming others is high and almost inevitable. Addiction takes no prisoners and leaves a path of destruction in its path. In recovery, we no longer place blame on others for our actions, we own our mistakes, and we do what we can to right our wrongs. In the process of doing so, we may encounter a situation that doesn’t go according to plan (or maybe it went as we expected).

Making Amends

The idea behind making an amends is to clean up your side of the street. If you wronged another person, do your best to make it right, and move on. Whether they accept your apology or not is on them. You have no control over their response, and whatever it is, respect them and their wishes and carry on with your life. Making an apology to another person may feel like it’s only for them, but really it’s for your own peace of mind.

Some Amends Go Better Than Others

As addicts and alcoholics in recovery, it is important to clear our wreckage of the past. We don’t want to dwell on what we’ve done, but we do want to mend what we can so that our past doesn’t continually gnaw on our conscience. Some amends may go really well, and you will encounter people that are understanding and forgiving. Some may not even think you owe an amends. Others may not be as easy.

In the instance where another person is still very angry or wants nothing to do with you, it is best to accept their anger and wishes, then move on. If you have made the best amends you possibly could to no avail, a living amends is your next step.

A living amends shows others that you are committed to not going back to the life you once lived. In a sense, this means more to a person than words ever could. Remember, sorry means nothing if you keep hurting people. If you are struggling with addiction, we can help. Recovery is possible, and your journey to a new life can begin today.





The Lakehouse Recovery Center offers privacy, client-focused care, and more. Our belief is that treatment should teach clients how to find fun and laughter again in their life. Offering 30, 60, and 90 day programs, we help clients heal in mind, body, and spirit, while helping them find joy in life again without drugs and alcohol. Call us today for information:  877.762.3707


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