The struggle is real. If you talk to someone about their addiction a million questions can run through your mind. Will I lose them? Will I drive them away and deeper into their addiction? Will they lash out at me in anger? The fears can be overwhelming.
Perhaps there is another way to think about it. Making choices based on your fears could make you miss out on one of the greatest joys in life: watching your loved one overcome their addiction. You cannot control people’s choices. If you choose to talk to your loved one, motivated by your own love, then you will have no regrets. Your motives are pure and your intention is to speak life. Many who have managed to break out of their addictions note that there was someone in their life who prompted them to get help. None of them were angry at their catalyst long term.
Some things to consider before talking to your loved one about their addiction:
- Is there someone out there who might be a better person to talk your loved one? You may care a lot about the person you want to talk to, but if you put yourself in their shoes, you might realize that someone else has more credibility and therefore more impact with your loved one.
- If you are the best person to have the conversation then try to have it in a place where your loved one is most comfortable. Don’t judge them in your conversation, but instead offer your encouragement and support.
- If someone is not ready to hear what you’re saying then don’t push it. Plant the seed and leave it to grow. If you push the issue it may drive them further away. Instead, if you say your piece and leave it at that, then you are demonstrating respect for the other person and you are still giving them something to mull over as they go about their day.
- Build your own support system. Don’t launch into something like this alone. Make sure there is someone available that you can talk to who can support your efforts in this. There will probably be many tears that come, and you will need that shoulder to cry on. Just be sure to pick people for your support system who will not judge your loved one, but want to see them in recovery just as much as you do.
In the end, if someone knows you love them, but they reject your talk about their addiction then it is still a win. The love you have shown will follow them even into the darkest places, and it will offer them a light. When they feel as if there is no way out, then you will probably be the first person they call.
If you are having concerns about a loved one and their drinking or drug use, call Lakehouse Recovery Center today for information on our residential treatment programs and 12 month aftercare: 877.762.3707