Giving Up the Need for Control

Leonard Cohen once said, “A state of grace is that kind of balance with which you ride the chaos that you find around you. It’s not a matter of resolving the chaos, because there is something arrogant and warlike about putting the world in order.”

The idea that  everything would be better if people would fall in line with our desires and will comes from a place of selfishness.

Exerting Control With Substance Use

We want to assert our control over every aspect of our lives and the lives of others, and when our desires for control are not met, we recede into the momentary relief provided by drugs and alcohol.

However, if we can take our hands off the wheel and give up our need for control, we find that we are brought closer to a state of fulfillment and serenity.

How Can We Give Up Control?

We can learn to recognize that things are the way they are because they are meant to be that way.

From this understanding, we can accept the world as given and stop wasting unnecessary energy trying to control everything.

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous explains, “Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.”

Giving up our selfish desire for control and no longer attempting to push our own will on others allows us to achieve peace of mind.

We surrender to the notion that we are not all-powerful—that we can rely on something greater than ourselves to direct our thinking and actions.

Becoming Receptive

Surrendering control and having faith that things will happen as they are meant to happen allows us to turn our attention and energy to things of greater importance.

In her article, Let Go of Control: The Art of Surrender for Tiny Buddha, Dr. Amy Johnson explains, “Being receptive and allowing things to happen is a skill that can be practiced and improved upon. It helps to believe in a friendly universe—one that is supporting you at every turn so that you don’t have to worry yourself over the details. We can always choose to do things the easy way or the hard way. We can muscle through, or we can let go of the oars and let the current carry us downstream.”

Rather than waste time trying to assert control, we can relax and take it easy, focus on our spiritual growth, and finally know serenity.

Contact Us Today if You Need Treatment - Lakehouse Recovery Center

You can escape the chaos of addiction and alcoholism. Recovery is possible, and you can build a life of peace and serenity in sobriety by making the decision to seek help now. The Lakehouse Recovery Center offers a variety of individualized treatment options, from Detox to Aftercare, to give you all the tools needed to achieve and maintain permanent sobriety. For information about treatment programs, please call today: (877) 762-3707


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