If you are new to sobriety, you may have already heard other people in recovery suggest that you stay single for your first year. If you are wondering what staying single has to do with recovery, you might be surprised that it has a lot to do with staying sober. In your first weeks and months of recovery, everything is new. It’s as though you are seeing the world from a completely different perspective. If you are in treatment or going to meetings, you’ll be seeing a lot of different people, and some may be a little more appealing than others. Keep in mind, who you find attractive now, will likely not meet your standards a little later. It sounds harsh, but this is a trap many newly sober individuals fall into.
If you want to avoid the ‘what was I thinking?’ mind chatter, focus on yourself. Your obsession with your drug of choice called you away from self-development. Recovery is your opportunity to get to know who you are. If you are getting to know someone else on an intimate level during this time period, you are once again being called away from yourself. Many of us have an utter lack of boundaries when we get to recovery and jumping into yet another relationship often ends in the same dysfunction that we know so well.
Another important thing to keep in mind is your vulnerability. People who are newly sober are easy targets for predators, and there are a lot of them in this world. If someone who is in recovery is pursuing you in your first year, be careful. They know what they’re doing, they don’t care, and they are hoping you fall victim to their charms. Don’t do it. Let them go bottom-feed somewhere else, this type of person is the last thing you need in recovery. Try gender-specific meetings, and make a commitment to yourself to stay single until after your first year. It sounds more difficult than it is, and you will be thankful you gave yourself the chance to heal, this time next year.
If you are struggling with addiction, call The Lakehouse Recovery Center. There is a new life for you beyond addiction, and we want to help you get there. You are not alone. Give us a call, we are available 24/7, toll-free at (877) 762-3707. We do recover, and so can you. Call now.