Find One Person to Trust and Rely On
Well, truthfully, in recovery you want to have a handful of people to trust and rely on. You want to have a circle of support that you turn to when you feel stressed and tense. Or when life circumstances feel too overwhelming, or when you feel triggered and you’re having cravings. At any of these moments, have a wide group of family, friends, and professionals to turn to can be an incredible support in recovery. Though if you can find one person to trust and rely on, the comfort from that will help to put your mind at ease.
And among your circle of support, you may want to have one person whom you have a strong and trusting relationship with. One of the reasons why having at least one person in your recovery with whom you feel close is because of the relationship. In psychotherapy, for instance, the one and only component that creates change for the client is the relationship with the therapist. It is the therapeutic relationship that supports lasting change in the client’s life. And, it is this relationship that facilitates a client having experiences that he or she has rarely or never had before. This could be simple experiences such as feeling happy, moving beyond self-limitation, and staying sober.
Believing in Yourself During Recovery
The same is true for someone in recovery. Of course, you can look for a therapist to support you, such as in the example above. But you might also look for a sober mentor or AA sponsor. Keep in mind that a sponsor and mentor are a little different than a therapist because they are not providing therapeutic services. But still, with any of these examples, the possibility for a strong relationship is still there. And it’s the relationship that plays an essential role in your success and sobriety. This is especially true when that person encourages, supports, validates, and believes in you. When you feel this kind of support from another person, you are likely to believe in yourself too.
Whether it is a sober mentor, a drug counselor, a therapist, or sponsor, here are a few characteristics of the type of relationship to look for:
- Trusting – You want to be able to trust this person with anything. If you have a question about something that feels personal and intimate, this is the person you can go to for answers.
- Supportive – You feel supported, even protected by this person. This person is looking out for your well-being.
- Inspiring – This person has a few years ahead of you in their own sobriety. They have faced the challenges you are now and have successfully moved through them.
- Motivational – This person challenges and motivates you to keep going. You feel stronger and more capable after spending time with this person.
- Nurturing – You feel that this person cares about you and genuinely wants the best for you.
- Envisioning – This one person to trust can help hold a future vision for you. At the start it might feel that long-term sobriety feels like a hard-to-reach goal. However, this person holds that vision for you and believes in your ability to achieve it.
When you begin to meet with this person, set up a regular weekly day and time to meet, bring an agenda with you to your meetings, and be sure to share a list of your goals. If you meet on a regular basis, it’s likely that you’ll feel more confident and secure in your sobriety.