Dating in Recovery: What you Need to Remember

Dating in Recovery

Your recovery can be fragile, especially early on.  For this reason, many experts recommend that you wait at least a year into your sobriety before beginning any new relationships.  Romantic relationships can cause stresses that you may not be prepared for early in your recovery.  These added stresses could be just enough to trigger a relapse.  Once you decide you are ready to start dating it is important to keep a few rules in mind to ensure you are not setting yourself up for a relapse.

Make Sure You Are Ready

While the one year rule is something many professionals agree on, how long exactly you should wait before you start dating again depends on you.  Every person is different in their recovery.  Before you start dating make sure you are comfortable handling stress in a healthy way.  New relationships can be an emotional roller coaster. Avoid starting a new relationship until your sobriety is ready to handle the ride.

Your Recovery is Not Your Partner’s

Your addiction is your addiction.  While having a partner to help you through difficult times can be great, it is important that you do not become reliant on another person for your sobriety.  Your partner is not responsible for your sobriety in any way.  By becoming reliant on your partner as part of your sobriety, you create a scenario that could cause relapse to be inevitable should the relationship come to an end. 

Be Picky

When dating while managing an addiction it is important that you are particular in choosing your partner.  Some things that others may be able to let slide can be deal breakers if you are trying to maintain a sober lifestyle.  Avoiding a partner who is actively using drugs or alcohol is vital to maintaining your sobriety.  

You may also want to avoid dating people that are also recovering from an addiction.  While having a partner that you can fight addiction with together may seem like the perfect solution, the pressures of worrying about two people’s sobriety could increase the likelihood of relapse for both of you.

Take Things Slowly

Many recovering addicts will pour themselves into a relationship early on.  The same all or nothing mentality that makes it impossible for them to drink casually can take over in a relationship.  When you start dating for the first time in your recovery make sure that you maintain your own separate life.  Should the relationship have issues you will need somewhere healthy to turn to in order to avoid a relapse.




The Lakehouse Recovery Center offers privacy, client-focused care, and more. Our belief is that treatment should teach clients how to find fun and laughter again in their life. Offering 30, 60, and 90 day programs, we help clients heal in mind, body, and spirit, while helping them find joy in life again without drugs and alcohol. Call us today for information:  877.762.3707


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